Happiness! Where did I find this? This wasn’t meant for me. This wasn’t a part of the plan… Fate is baffled. And I smile and I dance, and...

Communicate. What does that word mean? I wasn’t familiar. Silence and abuse… Those were the two extremes and the only languages I grew up...

FATHER… My nightmare… My dream… My hope. Hope… Hope Bethel John. I fear I will repeat the mistakes of those that came before me. I am...

Fear… Fear… There are cute acronyms for this word. The pain. The darkness. The heartbreak. I awoke this morning anxious, and afraid and...

FAMILY. It’s all about family… My family tried. They did their best… Don’t get me wrong. But… I associated fear… trauma… abuse…...

Love… It eludes me. Constantly. It scares me. It has scarred me. It has made me feel whole. And indestructible. I cannot live without it....

Closure… I asked the Lord… Why did they hurt me? Why did they assume the worst in me? Why do they keep making me feel unworthy? He simply...

Home… Good morning, mone. Good morning, sweetie. Thank you, love. Love you… From a closing car door. They sound simple and like words...

FIGHT! Stand up and fight. If you believe you’re ready, fight! If you believe you’re not… Fight till you get to the point where you are....

The Calm My heart used to rage… It was the norm. It was what I was taught love looked like. There was no calm… There was no peace…...

Almost forgot about this one! The inspiration for Book 3. Purpose in Pain. I wonder how. I wonder why. I pray I’ll find the reason. My...

Perceive… Perceive… You perceive the worst in me. Your experiences make you question my intent… They make you worry at my kindness. They...

Eternity… I cry to my Savior. Why have you allowed this to be so hard? Why has this hand been so poorly dealt I wait in the wings. For my...

Standards I overhear… And I worry. And I pray. That they may come to realize how special she is. And how worthy and deserving of a...

The Performer… Why did I want to perform? At the start, it was to feel seen and loved. To feel like I mattered. I found my worth in it… I...

ReGret… I don’t. I simply do not. Because I am overwhelmingly aware that each step of my journey was used for good. My days when I wanted...

Thank you Tim Keller for your words of wisdom that will live on. The Meaning of Marriage addresses singlehood in a new and meaningful...

Thank you, thank you, thank you... Yes, War is a tragic and painful part of this world we live in. But, we live in a broken world and...

Processing and journalling. 5-hour chill workout. 2 LB Roast Chicken. Gatorade Bottle. Mosying about my city. Life is good. And so is...

I refuse to allow pride to ruin my home... Not again. It will take work. A lot of work. But it is work I am willing to do....