SCARED.
I am terrified.
I’m in pain. I wonder if the pain will ever stop.
I know it will.
I don’t know how my heart does it.
I don’t know how or why it chooses to love people so fiercely…
Over and over again.
No matter how many times it is scorned and left behind.
I sit here.
Alone in this room.
With the lights off. The tears seem incapable of ceasing.
I don’t know how to stop the ache. The pain. The sense of loss.
And for the first time, I don’t feel the need to.
The need to distract. To numb. To ignore.
I want to feel it all. And be honest. And let my heart grieve.
The loss of love. Of friends. Of home. Of support.
The loss. I lose. I lose. I lose. I lose. I lose.
And my heart questions if it’s ever been worth trying.
If I should’ve just left well enough alone.
And settled.
I don’t settle. I’ll do it, scared. And I will do it, well.
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