To Be Honest #2: GRATITUDE
Changing up the title for this Series.
We relegate this feeling to a day or to a journal entry.
I pretend like my privilege doesn't exist.
My educational privilege. My (self-made but still) wealth privilege. My privilege to have spent most nights of my life in a home regardless of the chaos within it.
I forget how special my blessings are...
Because comparison and influence are the top currencies of this era.
We crown our updates with all the grandeur and lofty praise.
Neglecting the realities of pain and heartache.
Gratitude and pain can coexist.
Contrary to popular belief.
I spent so long being grateful for what I had that I forget to acknowledge the pain and like a pendulum, swung the other way, allowing my pain to determine who I was and the value I had, forgetting the gratitude.
Gratitude doesn't mean you don't struggle and you have no right to complain.
Gratitude is a mindset to acknowledge the grief you are experiencing and know full well that most of the things we lose and grieve the loss of in this world, most people will never know or have access to.
Check yourself.
I know I have to... Time and time again, I have to stop and reavulate.
I am grateful for the abuse.
I am grateful for the pain.
I am grateful for the trauma.
I am grateful for the aches.
I am grateful for the betrayal.
I am grateful for the come up.
Because all of those exist in the full awareness that that is not the way life should be.
They exist in the midst of the hope of what could be.
They exist to remind me of who I was, how I lived, and who I can be.
Your gratitude doesn't mean life doesn't suck some times, and that pain is an inextricable part of this human experience.
It does mean that those storms are not forever and a home cooked meal, brotherhood, community, and a hug are things that most people are living for and dreaming about.
I have the life I always dreamt of... and this is just the beginning.
How far I'll go to help people and heal the world?
No idea but I am thankful.
For vision. For purpose. For hope.
Yours faithfully,
Qavah.
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