The Beats and The Breaths.

I think the pain has let up.

Like it’s all subsided.

Like the grieving is complete and I’ve moved forward.

One of the greatest catch-22s to feeling deeply is realizing how quickly your heart can shatter.

How quickly one look can change it all.

How one breath can start to feel like one too many.

I see the title of the book in our store inventory.

The book I gifted her the night my world came to a halt.

I couldn’t move. I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t breathe.

She returned. She returned. She returned.

Three days. One week.

The scars are scratched at. Probed and prodded.

And my heart screams and murmurs.

The aches. The bitterness. The pain.

It all returns.

With or without an invitation to enter.

And I’ve learned when to say…

“Welcome” and “Kindly Leave”.

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