WE DECLARE FREEDOM!
Most of us know not of a life where that freedom was ever in question.
We do not know the darkness of being imprisoned and being thrust into indentured servitude.
Most of us, however, bear the scars of it.
The realities that for most people of the past few generations, there is a part of their story that had that freedom questioned and for some parts of the world, that question still hangs in a state of perpetual anxiety.
It does however baffle me that I chose to put the chains back on in my own life for so long.
I stepped back and chose to be lost in the abyss of numbing the heartache and the pain.
I chose to not do the work and use my sickness as the excuse every single time for my dishonorable and downright evil behavior.
I walked in captivity...
Not because I had to but because I wanted it.
The frigid touch of those metal chains had become the only sensation I believed was out there.
The cuts they made into my freshly brutalized skin... a product of the choices of those that came before me.
I chose to be chained. Shackled... and lost.
And then, one day... I admitted my captivity.
I did not seek to conform to the needs of those around me or the people who's opinion and love somehow mattered more to me than my own or my God's.
12 years... Lost.
I found freedom but only because I was brave enough to ask.
Brave enough to admit powerlessness.
Walk into the freedom I had all along.
12 steps... Found.
IT'S MY LIFE! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT I would say as I eased into a self-soothing and self-destructive state.
It's my life. I can do what I want.
Wow. Change the tone. Change the melody.
Change the game.
Choose freedom.
So many people have died so you could.
Yours faithfully,
Qavah.
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