Fall

Fall.

I hate this pain.

This pain that I feel.

To love and to have lost.

Yes, it is better.

That much is for sure. But the pain in my heart begs to differ.

I question. I grapple. I cry.

Could I have done more?

I’ve known pain my whole life.

And yet… somehow.

I chose another path.

Why? I couldn’t tell you.

But I knew.

From the 1st time to the 1583rd time.

That same pain. I would never inflict it on anyone else.

I failed. I made mistakes. I hurt. I hurt myself.

And now… I cry. And I cover my face.

Those self-same hands that refused to end it all wipe away the tears of that little boy and that man that he always hoped would protect him.

My path never was going to be easy. This fall feels insurmountable.

What a start to the comeback that no one saw coming.

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